this one is from the heart...

Have you ever lost a friend? I mean, really lost someone. Maybe you should listen to me for a moment then, because I have.

I've lost many friends. Some to relationships with others. Some got married, had kids. For some reason, that factored me out of the equation. I never understood it. Still don't today. Those same people have 'new' friends that they make time for, so what does that make me? Chopped liver? Useless?

I was once told by a friend that, another friend had dropped me because I was single and her husband didn't feel that she needed to socialize with me anymore. I was there when they met. I was there during their entire courtship. Supported them when they got pregnant and married. I helped plan their wedding, was in the wedding and even helped plan their 1 year anniversary. Was there for the birth of their first child. Then BOOM, quite literally from one day to the next, they stopped accepting my calls. I never heard from them again. That hurt me deeply, and still does to this day.

This same scenario has happened to me 3 more times since then. I even had my best friend of 17 years tell me "Kande, I would NEVER do that to you" and that was the last conversation we ever had. Haven't heard from her in going on 4 years now. She of course got pregnant, married, all in that order, to someone she knew less than 6 months. She threw away a 17 year friendship over a 6 month one with some guy she fell for. Wonder how that has turned out? Hmmm...

See that face that I posted above? We lost him a few months back. He, like me, is single. Oh, you will have to forgive me, but I cannot speak of Chris in the past tense, not now and not ever. Chris is the most loyal, giving and kind man on this planet. The depths that this man would reach for you, is unexplainable. Yet, he feels lost. I feel his pain most of the time.

Here is the point to my rant, finally. People like Chris and myself are good people. We may be single which means, no marriage, no kids. That does not make us diseased. It doesn't mean we are whores, sluts and pigs. We are respectable and absolutely respect the relationships of our friends around us. We embrace our friends' children as if they were ours. We also, would never do anything to come between a relationship that a friend has committed to.

My friend Chris took his own life a few months ago. We no longer have him to talk to. He can no longer be there for us, only in spirit and in our hearts.

My message to you is, don't throw away people. Don't assume that those 'single' people in your life are too busy to talk to you, or are just not suited for your life. One day you might find that they are gone, forever. I'm just sayin'...