Loyalty lies...

Where does loyalty lie? These days, loyalty lies, period. The whole concept of loyalty seems to have lost its luster, as generations expand. Back in the black & white movie days, loyalty was the theme of major movies. These days, it seems as if movie themes are about current comfortable relationships seeking others and always seem to fall madly in love with a complete stranger. Go figure. Couples screwing loyalty, so to speak.
Continuing that theme, friendships seem to adopt this same pattern of nonexistence. Growing up as a young girl, I thought that the girl friends I established, would last me for life. That was certainly the intention i had, anyway. Especially once I reached high school. I had made at least 3 friendships all through middle and high school that I had thought would last me a lifetime. We would all meet our future husbands together, be in each other's weddings and see our children being born. Needless to say, I wasn't even invited to any of their weddings. Well, one of them called me the night before her wedding, wishing that I could of been there. Does that count? I at least got photos of their children. Is that some sort of consolation prize?
I guess the problem with me is, I always thought that my life would turn out to be so "Sex & the City" like. Well, minus the sex & the fashion. Maybe some fashion. What I mean is, the friendship part. I've always made friends pretty easy. Those that make their way deep into my heart, I always plan for them to be there for the rest of my life. Just like on t.v. and in the movies. Am I insane? Does this not happen?
Once I started what I thought was going to be a real career in the newspaper industry, I must of decided that loyalty would be a great quality to incorporate and embrace. Boy, what a complete waste of time, energy and hurt feelings that was. Showing loyalty as a quality and personal trait is like tacking a suicidal note to your forehead. Don't even bother.
Sadly all this has taught me to never spend money to be in anyone's wedding or shower them in gifts over their new children, because as long as you remain single, you will never be welcome into the life circle of friendship with anyone but your dogs. Unfortunately they don't live but an average life span of 7-10 years. I'm just sayin'...

Where did the 'reality' go in reality t.v.?

I don't know who dreamed up the concept of 'Reality T.V.' shows, but I am quite envious. Talk about a multi million dollar enterprise. This trend has pretty much taken over prime time by storm. So much in fact, I can't recall watching a sitcom that was really worth watching since Friends and Seinfeld went off. E.R. was good drama, too. I miss that a lot.
The first reality show I think I ever watched was on MTV. Ah, 'The Osbournes'. Sheer genius. Now THAT seemed like real reality to me. Cameras rolling nonstop on a dysfunctional family of a man rock 'n roll refers to as 'The Prince of Darkness'. Just watching this family stumble through a day in their lives was entertaining to me. There didn't seem to be any 'made up' plots. No horrible acting. Just listening to Ozzy attempt to speak english was funny as hell to me. I was sad to see that show end.
Then came the whole 'Survivor' and 'Fear Factor' crap. This never entertained me at all. Sorry, there was no way I was buying that all these extremely attractive people were being filmed whilst they are either starving, or about to eat the poop shoot of a cow. I call bullshit, pardon the pun.
Along came the father/son business of Orange County Choppers. The Teutuls', Paul Sr. and Junior. Don't forget Mikey, the youngest one. Here is a man who started his own iron shop, decided to branch out into the motorcycle building business and brought in his sons. There is no denying that Paul Jr. is a design genius when it comes to choppers. Paul Sr. may of started the business, but he would not be where he is today, without that Spider bike and the tribute firefighters bike from the 9/11 tragedy. Now the show has turned into Paul Sr. trying to convince the world that he had more to do with his success other than footing the bill. I suggest he go back and review past episodes. He did not much more than scream and yell and make all his employees feel like they were working in complete hell. Sorry Sr., but I'm on Team Junior.
In rolls the tattoo industry. Starting off with Miami Ink. Was a fairly entertaining show, especially when they introduced the new female phenom of Kat Von D. Extremely young but quite talented artist this chic is. She also had a very sweet persona about her. She seemed so genuine back in those days. I was glad to see her get her own show. Once L.A. Ink hit the airwaves, she seemed to transform into a complete snob. Isn't it funny how money & fame changes people? Aren't tattooed people supposed to be all about peace and love? Nonjudgemental of others? They certainly preach enough about people judging them, right? Watch a few episodes of last season's L.A. Ink and see how the High Voltage tattoo parlor treats their new employees. Talk about complete and utter disdain. I thought to myself, there is no way that an employer can treat an employee like this, especially on national television. At this point, I decided that this can't possibly be real. Total made up story lines. There goes the reality, right out the window.
Don't even get me started on the whole series of 'The Real Housewives of...". We have California, New Jersey, New York, Atlanta and now D.C. Like actual real housewives want to watch this made up bunch of bullshit about rich women in big cities? There goes the reality starting with the title. Try coming up with a 'Real Housewives of Lancaster, Pennsylvania" or "...of Boise, Idaho". How about showing the plight of these women. Better yet, take Vicky out of Orange County and stick her spoiled rotten, neurotic ass in Greensburg, Kansas and watch her deal with an F5 tornado situation. Now, THAT'S entertainment.
Next comes 'Gene Simmons' Family Jewels' with the founder of Kiss. I enjoy this show despite its complete and obvious fakeness. I hate to say it but, Shannon and Tracy Tweed are the most horrible actresses known to mankind. How about leaving the whole facade of Lucille Ball to 'I Love Lucy'. That's been done. Leave it in the past, please.
I see no point in mentioning 'Bad Girls Club' or 'Jersey Shore' as I've watched the commercials. Not only is this the furthest thing from reality, I'd rather watch dust collect on the front of my television screen than put one plugged nickel in any of these people's pockets. Don't worry though, there are plenty of people out there bored enough to make sure Snookie has a secured future in the tanning booth. Too bad they hadn't come along while Johnny Depp was doing the remake of Willie Wonka. The entire cast of Jersey Shore could of played the Umpa Lumpas. No makeup required.
The world of entertaining sitcoms has now retired to the paid movie channels like HBO and Showtime. Shows worth watching you now have to pay $12.99 per month to see. Sad but true. The day will be coming soon when I have to have the cable shut off. Guess I won't be missing much. At least I can purchase the season DVDs of "Nurse Jackie" and "The Big C". I'm just sayin'...

Male enhancement?

Ever notice while watching television at night, the later it gets the more commercials you see for male enhancement drugs? Viagra, Cialis, etc. Viagra commercials usually show some stupid man having a conversation with himself in a mirror about whether or not he should talk to his doctor about the fact he can't 'get it up'. As if he shared this information with a doctor, it would make him less of a man. Aren't you already less of a man if you can't even be honest? Here is a thought. Tell the truth for once. Stop pretending to be something you aren't. Perhaps it will actually make your life a little better.
Then there is ExtenZe commercials. Total douche bag older male sitting in a club with a bunch of 20 somethings. He sees some girl that looks like a skeleton in a little black dress, sitting there looking at him as if he was a ribeye steak with millions of dollars. He looks at her and gestures for them to leave the club. Yeah, right. I have news for you douchebag. If it was that easy? Chances are she's a hooker. I mean, the girl looks like she's been wrestling in baby oil already. Or maybe that's just her still sweaty from the john she picked up before you. Here is the real newsflash for you, too. That pill you took to make your penis larger? A simple erection WILL make your penis larger. Get a grip on reality, please.
The most clever commercials I've seen yet, are those from Enzyte. Smiling Bob is the man. This is how its done, people. A couple that looks like Ward and June Cleaver from "Leave it to Beaver", no pun intended. A very cute and classy way to advertise your little pill that makes an old coot chase his poor wife around the house for 4 hours. The little innuendos you throw into this commercial are genius. Kudos to you, Enzyte.
Now, lets travel to the fantasy world of Cialis commercials. Complete and utter crap. They make their scenes look like you are in the land of elf from Lord of the Rings. Why are there 2 side by side, clawfoot tubs out in the wilderness? Why are you even in separate tubs if you just took a stupid pill that makes you horny as hell for the next 4 hours? Did you already have 4 hours of nonstop sex? Did you injure your poor wife and now she has to soak? How romantic.
Why don't you just try being a man? Try picking your boxers off the floor and place them in the dirty clothes bin for a change. Stop making your wife have to do it for you. Lift the lid when you take a piss and try not spraying down the walls while you are at it. Take the trash out without having to be asked. Find a compliment about the dinner she cooked you, instead of something negative. In other words, try looking at things from both sides of the fence. Perhaps you will be surprised at the little things you can do to make your relationship more like it used to be. A less tired wife could be more giving. Same thing applies to the women, too. There is no preferential treatment here. It works both ways, people.
Look back to the beginning of your relationship and try to find things to do to get that spark back. You don't need stupid, expensive drugs to 'enhance' your life. I'm just sayin'...

What's love got to do with it?

Relationships. A very funny business. Over the years I've questioned myself as to why I never got married. First answer was, nobody ever proposed. Stupid high school boyfriend proposals don't count. I knew after year 2 with that joker that I wasn't about to align my future with a self absorbed ass hat. Perhaps that's when my attitude began?
I've always noticed that the majority of my female friends always had to have a boyfriend. They were never even very particular either. I suppose that is why they always had one. Never understood that one. I'm the pickiest person on the planet. I'd rather hold out for, than settle. Perhaps my very first relationship either cured me or cursed me.
It wouldn't be until many years later, that I acquired a 2nd boyfriend. He was a good friend and it turned into a 'thing'. Those I always found, were the best kind. Sadly that didn't last for long. He started pinch hitting for the other team a few years after we broke up. I never saw that one coming and I have a very good instinct about those things. Turns out, I'm very happy for him. Someone should be happy, right?
It wouldn't be until many years later that I found myself in love again for the third time. I moved to the beach and fell in love with another friend. This one started out pretty turbulent. He was obviously not the boyfriend type. You see? I have this thing about boyfriends. Its more of a rule, really. Loyalty and fidelity while together. Period. Needless to say, I caught him with his best friend's girl and it ended badly. He moved away for a few months. I'll never understand why, but he contacted me on his way back to town and BOOM. We were a couple again, this time for real. For about a year, we were good. Once he started back into his old patterns, that was the end of that. No big surprise there.
After that horrible ending, I decided I was done with the whole relationship theory. For years I just stayed single. I stayed content with the whole casual thing. Obviously I was never really satisfied, as I think we all crave love in our lives. But no matter, at least I wasn't heartbroken over some cheater or liar.
It would again be years later before I fell in love. Again, with another friend but with a twist. This guy was an old roommate. I never even thought of him in a romantic way. I was going through a very turbulent time in my life. My landlord whom I had become close to, was on a suicide mission. She attempted suicide 5 times before I finally could get moved out. She was just looking for attention. To this day, she is doing better than me. I chose to cut the chord on that unhealthy relationship.
My friend/ex roommate was a tremendous rock to me during that time. He helped me move into my very first home. Three weeks later, we became 'involved'. Needless to say, this would end up being the most toxic relationship to date. No, I'm taking that back. It will be the last toxic relationship in my life. No need to go into the details but I have learned a lesson. It's about time, eh?
Which brings me to my whole point of this particular subject. About time, right? I see people all around me in relationships. Sitting back and quietly observing them is interesting. I will constantly be amazed at people. You know that phrase "love is blind", right? More truer words have ever been spoken. People will go to great lengths to convince themselves that their mate is not cheating or lying. They will call their other friends on the phone and subject them to HOURS of endless redundant conversation. Basically just talking themselves into believing that their mate is not doing anything wrong. Now, take it from me. Don't waste your time talking to these people. Honesty is not what they want to hear. Your honesty will only subject you to even more hours of them trying to convince you that you are wrong about their spouce. I don't care if you've witnessed their spouce screwing someone on your own kitchen table. This person will not only call you the liar, but will subsequently end right back up with said cheater, and neither of them will likely ever speak to you again. Wait! That could be a good thing.
What I'm trying to say, quite horribly is that, I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life and be happy, than to have some ass hat cheating, lying, using and bringing home God only knows what, to give to me. Love is blind alright. Glad I'm not blind yet. I'm just sayin'...

Blood is thicker than water?

You know what pains me most of the time? I surf facebook, and probably about 80-90% of my facebook friends post these status messages about how wonderful their mother, father, sister, brother are. Then of course, there are the kids. "post this into your status if you have a fabulous kid". I appreciate this on some level for my friends, but it doesn't really apply to me.

I have no children, nor will I ever. I have days where it makes me sad, but not often enough to effect my everyday life. I was never in the right situation to bring children into my life. I never wanted to do it alone. I never wanted to be a burden to tax payers or anyone else. I chose the life of birth control. The one time I did have a brief glimpse of hope, was short lived. I think a higher power must of thought better of the 'union' that would of been and took care of it for me. That power knew that I should not suffer having that person in my life for the next 18 years. Personally, I thank that higher power everyday. Lets face it, it would of been a lot longer than 18 years, that I would have to deal with the father of my child.

My feeling about children, to this day is that if I ever had any, I would love them, unconditionally. I would always want to know what is going on in their lives. I would do anything for them that i could, move heaven and earth to be there for them. I am like that with my friends. Apparently, that has been a downfall in my friendships. Loyalty is not something most 'friends' require. There is rarely any reciprocation involved. It has always been something I crave. Needless to say, its an addiction for me.

Call me the 'black sheep' of the family. I never married, never had kids. Therefore, I never really amounted to much in my family's eyes, I suppose. All I ever did was try my best to provide for myself and not be a burden on them. I used to long for a relationship with my mother. I want to be one of those people that can post a status message on facebook that says, "if you have a loving mother, one who loves and cares for you, repost this". I can't do that. Everybody says actions speak louder than words. I am a firm believer of that saying.

Do I think my mother loves me? Yes. I am her child. Just not enough to actually involve herself with my life. My life interferes with hers way too much. She's too busy trying to make sure her mother regrets the way she was treated by her mother. This may be too heavy for most to read, but I'm just sayin'... we all have our bad days.

this one is from the heart...

Have you ever lost a friend? I mean, really lost someone. Maybe you should listen to me for a moment then, because I have.

I've lost many friends. Some to relationships with others. Some got married, had kids. For some reason, that factored me out of the equation. I never understood it. Still don't today. Those same people have 'new' friends that they make time for, so what does that make me? Chopped liver? Useless?

I was once told by a friend that, another friend had dropped me because I was single and her husband didn't feel that she needed to socialize with me anymore. I was there when they met. I was there during their entire courtship. Supported them when they got pregnant and married. I helped plan their wedding, was in the wedding and even helped plan their 1 year anniversary. Was there for the birth of their first child. Then BOOM, quite literally from one day to the next, they stopped accepting my calls. I never heard from them again. That hurt me deeply, and still does to this day.

This same scenario has happened to me 3 more times since then. I even had my best friend of 17 years tell me "Kande, I would NEVER do that to you" and that was the last conversation we ever had. Haven't heard from her in going on 4 years now. She of course got pregnant, married, all in that order, to someone she knew less than 6 months. She threw away a 17 year friendship over a 6 month one with some guy she fell for. Wonder how that has turned out? Hmmm...

See that face that I posted above? We lost him a few months back. He, like me, is single. Oh, you will have to forgive me, but I cannot speak of Chris in the past tense, not now and not ever. Chris is the most loyal, giving and kind man on this planet. The depths that this man would reach for you, is unexplainable. Yet, he feels lost. I feel his pain most of the time.

Here is the point to my rant, finally. People like Chris and myself are good people. We may be single which means, no marriage, no kids. That does not make us diseased. It doesn't mean we are whores, sluts and pigs. We are respectable and absolutely respect the relationships of our friends around us. We embrace our friends' children as if they were ours. We also, would never do anything to come between a relationship that a friend has committed to.

My friend Chris took his own life a few months ago. We no longer have him to talk to. He can no longer be there for us, only in spirit and in our hearts.

My message to you is, don't throw away people. Don't assume that those 'single' people in your life are too busy to talk to you, or are just not suited for your life. One day you might find that they are gone, forever. I'm just sayin'...

forget shoulder pads...

can someone please explain this fashion phenomenon to me? Now, don't even try to talk crap to me about racial profiling or anything, because white boys are just as guilty as this guy. He just got lucky because his image popped up on google first.

The thing that cracks me up about the younger generation today, is how they laugh at how men used to wear tight jeans. Hell, some of them were downright sexy. Think not? Take a look at some pictures of James Hetfield of Metallica back in the day, then shut up. At least you could get an 'idea' of what the dude has to offer.

But this new fashion statement of the jeans hanging off the ass? I said I'd like to see what they have too offer out of curiosity. I never said I'd like to see the full blown monty. Women want to see if you have a cute butt, and the whole baggy pants thing makes that impossible, but geez, I really am not that curious that you have to wear your pants hanging off the ass. We all know that boxers have that giant slit in the front. Perhaps that means that, if the sausage isn't hanging out, then you may not have all that much to offer to begin with. So why wear this? Makes me think you are pretty much giving yourself the 'short end of the stick', so to speak. So much for the mystique... I'm just sayin'.

Booty Pop panties? seriously?

As a young girl, I was always pretty skinny. The running joke in the family was about when I would finally weigh the big 4-0 pounds and this was like 4th grade? My weight upon graduating high school was somewhere around 90-100 lbs.

Being extremely thin was not easy. I was picked on just as much as an overweight person was. To me, it was just as bad. Kids can be so cruel. My mother kept telling me to be patient and that I would gain weight soon enough and then I'd be sorry. I never reached my womanly figure until I was almost 30 years old. I had finally acquired my curves.

As a woman gets older, her metabolism decreases drastically. I remember a day when I could skip one meal and drop almost 2 waist sizes in my jeans. At one point, I was so desperate to gain weight, I would require myself to consume at least 2 milkshakes per day. Those days are a distant memory, sadly.

Now, as I sit on my fat ass watching late nite television, an advertisement appears before my eyes. "Booty Pop Panties". An actual pair of panties in which 2 foam cushions are inserted in the butt cheek area. Are these things for real? Someone is actually going to pay for a pair of these panties?

Hell, I can school you ladies on how to get a large ass and I can promise you, my way is a LOT more fun than paying out your hard earned money plus shipping & handling. Cheeseburgers, french fries, milk shakes & no exercise. Just sit on your lazy ass & watch t.v. all day/night. Don't forget the eating part. Lots of naps thrown into the mix will help, too. Want to get that booty popping faster? Get yourself unemployed.

Ladies, what are you going to do in that moment when, your date comes inside to make out with you? Can you remember the moment when you stuffed your bra as a teenager and got found out in that hugely embarrassing moment? Um, yea... same thing is going to happen with the "Booty Pop Panties". Only difference now is, you are an ADULT. What is going to be the excuse now? At least you were a stupid kid with a bra full of kleenex or Charmin. Now, the dude (or chic, depending on your gender preference) is going to reach back there and get a handful of foam padding. Sexy.

My advice is, if you are skinny enough to be wanting to order these ridiculous panties, stop it. Enjoy your boney ass while you have it. "I'm just sayin'... "

angsty tomboy teen vs. joan jett

As I continue to poke fun at the Twilight series and their choice of lead female in Kristen Stewart, I think she may have found a role in a movie that she is well suited for. Apparently Kristen Stewart is starring in a movie about Joan Jett called "The Runaways". Her Twilight costar Dakota Fanning is also in the flick.

Now, I've always said how confused and surprised I am that the powers that be had cast Kristen Stewart as the female lead & love interest in this saga, being that Hollywood is so obsessed with sex and beauty. I'm not saying Kristen is ugly, by any means. She is just plain. As plain as can be. Her acting skills are simply how she acts in everyday life. In other words, not much acting going on. Don't believe me? Watch her in an interview. The girl is not only weird, but she's a complete spoiled rotten snot. Anyone that has the audacity to say in an interview that "the paparazzi experience is like being raped", needs a total reality check. Every role I've ever seen her play, she was the exact same way. Not a far stretch for her.

I've also had a little theory about her personal life. In every movie I've ever seen her in, she is a bit of a tomboy. Not much feminine going on there. My suspicion was and is that, she is gay. Now, don't get me wrong here. I have many friends who are gay, I'm not bashing her at all. I just found the whole 'rumor' or publicity stunt that she is dating her 'sparkly vampire' in real life, a bit of a joke. Its a total stunt, in my opinion.

Which brings me to my whole statement in the beginning of this. Playing the role of Joan Jett just may be her best role yet. I met Joan Jett back in the 80's when she played at a club I worked at. Never knew she was a lesbian until then. She is an awesome woman & a hell of a rocker. Great person, indeed.

I only have one problem with Kristen being 'Joan Jett'. If you look at Joan, she is one of the most strikingly beautiful women I've ever seen. Flawless face. Nothing 'plain' about Joan... I'm just sayin'.